XCOM: Enemy Unknown

Genre: Strategy

Developer: Firaxis Games

Publisher: 2K Games

System: Mac, Windows

It’s no easy task commanding the elite alien defense force known as XCOM. You must provide for your troops, organize your base, give tactical commands in the field, and protect the entire planet with four troops and two aircraft. Not to mention that this is a globally funded project so you have to appease the “board of trustees” or their respective countries will pull their funding. Ungrateful pricks. On my first mission I should have just taken the lead, but instead I listened to that moron with the headset mic. 

 

He got all but one of my troops killed. I took some pictures in case someone tried to court martial me over the incident. I’m not saying these guys were the best of the best. I mean look at that one lady rocking out to her iPod.

And you might not be able to tell, but the guy behind her is a total hipster. He’s got a mohawk and an ironic ‘stache. And under his armor he’s still wearing that non-regulation pashmina scarf that he somehow found at a thrift store. And he’s the one guy that made it back alive! Go figure.

Normally, unlike my first mission, I lead my men into battle like a true soldier. Or, rather, I fly with them in the Skyranger to the scene of the battle and command them from the relative safety of the vehicle. Actually, that could all be handled by video feed so I may easily be sitting back in the comfort of the HQ sipping my coffee, which has just enough whiskey in it to take the edge off of my incredibly difficult duties. To be honest, it doesn’t really matter where I command from, because the Skyranger always comes back unscathed. And thank God for that! Could you imagine having to hire new recruits and buy a new vertical takeoff plane every time you failed a mission? Money doesn’t grow on trees. It grows in the carcasses of alien warships.

All in all, I run a pretty tight ship. With a few weapon upgrades, a handful of experienced soldiers, and a couple dissected alien corpses we will learn how to most efficiently kill these bastards and – Aww fuck! Russia just pulled their funding! Goddamn commies. I’ll have to go take Vlad off the strike team. He was our best sniper, but he was also kind of a homophobic jerk so I guess the boost in morale will kind of even things out.

Happy Thoughts: XCOM is really addicting if you’re into the tactical command style of game, but it is not easy. Even on normal you will eventually lose troops and sometimes they are your best troops.

Sad Thoughts: Losing your troops hurts. There’s even a memorial wall in your base so you can remember the achievements of all your fallen comrades.

The Bottom Line: This game gets my approval. It’s just like playing the original game, but with newer graphics. I enjoy it. It is a little pricy though.

(All pictures taken from the internet. Additional drawings provided by me.)